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Some literary thoughts
May. 20th, 2006 06:30 pmI started reading The Well of Loneliness at dinner because I've sort of been feeling this lesbian thing lately and it's wonderful. Poor little Stephen is so adorable. I'm only 30 pages into it but I love it.
Ms. Anselmo recommended it to me freshman year when she was driving me back home after an Interact meeting. I can't remember why, I wish I remembered things like this better, I don't even know why I became a lesbian anymore. I looked it up in the library but I never could find it. (And now that I'm thinking about it I think that's because it was listed in the catalog as being written by somebody named Dickson or Dickinson and it's definitely not--because I know that the author is Radclyffe Hall, but I can remember looking for the book every week in the D's. Weird.)
Anyway, so I picked it up at Pride last year for, what, twenty-five cents? And I hadn't read it yet. I finished And She Was earlier (which was really good) and didn't really want to read the stupid labyrinth book and didn't really want to carry The Tin Drum to the dining hall, so I brought this one. And I love it so far. It's--and this is an awful thing to say--really restored my faith in lesbian literature.
I say that because the last book involving lesbians I tried to read was You're Not From Around Here, Are You (that I also picked up at Pride) over winter break and I got maybe four chapters into it and couldn't finish it. I moved onto At Swim, Two Boys instead (that I also picked up at Pride, go figure), the complete opposite of the spectrum, which I loved. For some reason I was just not getting into the story.
I'm going to try to read it again when I get home, because I don't think it had anything to do with the book itself. I think I was just in a weird place, and I'm in a better place now. The last lesbian book I read before that was Annie On My Mind sometime during senior year. I really liked that one, it was cute and sad at the same time. I think I might have had trouble getting into You're Not From Around Here because I've never been a 30-something lesbian in a long-term relationship living in Ohio or somewhere trying to inseminate. I have been an adolescent with crushes on other girls, and I've had lesbian teachers.
Ah, Salot and Fran. It's been awhile since I thought of them, I wonder how they're doing. Did the school ever come through and say they could live together? I think I remember something about that just before I left. I'll have to drop by and say hi when I go up to see everyone. Salot really did have a gorgeous voice. They were amazingly circumspect about it--I don't think I would have known if I hadn't been told--I wonder if that was just the way they naturally were or they were trying to be cautious.
But then again, I've never been an adolescent in love with other boys and grown men in circa-Easter Rising Ireland. So who knows.
Anyway. I'm sleepy now but I don't want to take a nap. I think I'll listen to music and read more.
My Google Desktop is stuffed chock full of little plug-ins. It's really rather neat. I'm growing...poppies, I think. Yeah, it's a bowl of poppies that I can water and they'll bloom. There's a laundry timer, weather, words-of-the-day, daily brain teasers, to-do list, notepad, calendar...and it all conveniently slots out when you click on things. :)
Speaking of words-of-the-day, I want to work in a library for real so I can use the phrase "take him to the stacks." Actually, it would probably be "take her to the stacks," because cute girls who read are much cuter than cute boys who read, and I think it would be much hotter to secretly make out with girls in a library than boys.
Chris and Matt asked me some interesting questions last night. Matt asked me if I was jealous, Chris asked me if I would ever have sex with a boy. What I actually said to Matt was "No, I don't really get jealous. I like to watch." And while I am a criminal voyeur, that's not all of it. Why should I begrudge someone I love happiness just because I'm not the one supplying it? It just doesn't make sense to me. I love to see anyone happy, espeically people I love. Matt said he gets jealous; I'm not really sure of what; but what people are usually jealous of is the attention of their loved one(s). But, for example, when Liz turns her head and says "mm, pretty girl," that's a Lizism that I love. 'There will always be women in rubber flirting with' her. :P And I'm really glad that they've worked somet hings out. She seems more relaxed and happy, and I am always down with that. I hope Kaitlyn feels better too. Think if I wrote to her over the summer, that would be okay?
What I said to Chris was "I don't know." And really, I don't, because I haven't. And boy, do I ever love sex with girls, but I have no experience with boys. I've never even kissed a boy since kindergarten, so how am I supposed to answer the sex question? And I suppose I can try anything once as long as it's reasonably safe, but it's not really a part of my life right now. So we'll see.
So, I'm going to go read some more now.
I woke up this morning and I didn't want to get dressed but I had to go to the bathroom and I didn't know if Alison was around (turned out she was asleep until 4PM), so I had to. So I was like "I haven't worn this shirt in months and I'd kind of like to wear it. *puts it on* I'm kind of into the layering thing lately, and I haven't worn this shirt yet. *puts it on*" And I looked in the mirror, and I'd been thinking about certain things while I was waking up, and I was like "huh. You can see my nipples right through these shirts. ... Ah, fuck it. *wears them anyway*"
Ms. Anselmo recommended it to me freshman year when she was driving me back home after an Interact meeting. I can't remember why, I wish I remembered things like this better, I don't even know why I became a lesbian anymore. I looked it up in the library but I never could find it. (And now that I'm thinking about it I think that's because it was listed in the catalog as being written by somebody named Dickson or Dickinson and it's definitely not--because I know that the author is Radclyffe Hall, but I can remember looking for the book every week in the D's. Weird.)
Anyway, so I picked it up at Pride last year for, what, twenty-five cents? And I hadn't read it yet. I finished And She Was earlier (which was really good) and didn't really want to read the stupid labyrinth book and didn't really want to carry The Tin Drum to the dining hall, so I brought this one. And I love it so far. It's--and this is an awful thing to say--really restored my faith in lesbian literature.
I say that because the last book involving lesbians I tried to read was You're Not From Around Here, Are You (that I also picked up at Pride) over winter break and I got maybe four chapters into it and couldn't finish it. I moved onto At Swim, Two Boys instead (that I also picked up at Pride, go figure), the complete opposite of the spectrum, which I loved. For some reason I was just not getting into the story.
I'm going to try to read it again when I get home, because I don't think it had anything to do with the book itself. I think I was just in a weird place, and I'm in a better place now. The last lesbian book I read before that was Annie On My Mind sometime during senior year. I really liked that one, it was cute and sad at the same time. I think I might have had trouble getting into You're Not From Around Here because I've never been a 30-something lesbian in a long-term relationship living in Ohio or somewhere trying to inseminate. I have been an adolescent with crushes on other girls, and I've had lesbian teachers.
Ah, Salot and Fran. It's been awhile since I thought of them, I wonder how they're doing. Did the school ever come through and say they could live together? I think I remember something about that just before I left. I'll have to drop by and say hi when I go up to see everyone. Salot really did have a gorgeous voice. They were amazingly circumspect about it--I don't think I would have known if I hadn't been told--I wonder if that was just the way they naturally were or they were trying to be cautious.
But then again, I've never been an adolescent in love with other boys and grown men in circa-Easter Rising Ireland. So who knows.
Anyway. I'm sleepy now but I don't want to take a nap. I think I'll listen to music and read more.
My Google Desktop is stuffed chock full of little plug-ins. It's really rather neat. I'm growing...poppies, I think. Yeah, it's a bowl of poppies that I can water and they'll bloom. There's a laundry timer, weather, words-of-the-day, daily brain teasers, to-do list, notepad, calendar...and it all conveniently slots out when you click on things. :)
Speaking of words-of-the-day, I want to work in a library for real so I can use the phrase "take him to the stacks." Actually, it would probably be "take her to the stacks," because cute girls who read are much cuter than cute boys who read, and I think it would be much hotter to secretly make out with girls in a library than boys.
Chris and Matt asked me some interesting questions last night. Matt asked me if I was jealous, Chris asked me if I would ever have sex with a boy. What I actually said to Matt was "No, I don't really get jealous. I like to watch." And while I am a criminal voyeur, that's not all of it. Why should I begrudge someone I love happiness just because I'm not the one supplying it? It just doesn't make sense to me. I love to see anyone happy, espeically people I love. Matt said he gets jealous; I'm not really sure of what; but what people are usually jealous of is the attention of their loved one(s). But, for example, when Liz turns her head and says "mm, pretty girl," that's a Lizism that I love. 'There will always be women in rubber flirting with' her. :P And I'm really glad that they've worked somet hings out. She seems more relaxed and happy, and I am always down with that. I hope Kaitlyn feels better too. Think if I wrote to her over the summer, that would be okay?
What I said to Chris was "I don't know." And really, I don't, because I haven't. And boy, do I ever love sex with girls, but I have no experience with boys. I've never even kissed a boy since kindergarten, so how am I supposed to answer the sex question? And I suppose I can try anything once as long as it's reasonably safe, but it's not really a part of my life right now. So we'll see.
So, I'm going to go read some more now.
I woke up this morning and I didn't want to get dressed but I had to go to the bathroom and I didn't know if Alison was around (turned out she was asleep until 4PM), so I had to. So I was like "I haven't worn this shirt in months and I'd kind of like to wear it. *puts it on* I'm kind of into the layering thing lately, and I haven't worn this shirt yet. *puts it on*" And I looked in the mirror, and I'd been thinking about certain things while I was waking up, and I was like "huh. You can see my nipples right through these shirts. ... Ah, fuck it. *wears them anyway*"
