So this is life.
May. 25th, 2006 05:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dumblemopThought I'd rearrange my journal a bit for the summer...
New colors, new layout, new icons. Two of them may qualify for "stalkerish" at this point...but I like them... *pout* Just let me know.
In other news, I finished my applications to Black Hawk and Hawthorn Hollow today, but didn't get to mail them because everyone's working on the house. So we'll see if I have a job this summer. Well, we'll see if I have these jobs this summer, because I can't just lie around the house all summer and I can't just volunteer with the summer reading program either. Should've just done them earlier, but I didn't.
It felt good to write a poem yesterday. Now if only I could write actual songs instead of just lyrics and melodies.
So, Liz graduated today.
I didn't take a shower today, and probably won't get to because they painted the doors upstairs and we can't close them. Hopefully tomorrow.
I'm exhausted. I don't really know why. And the phone keeps ringing and it's giving me a headache.
In other news, I can play Maple Leaf Rag from memory again without screwing up too much.
Meh. I probably have to go and help out around the house now.
Why do I always get angry when my mother asks me to do things? I'm not really doing anything important, she just wants me to play with Shadow a bit (who seems to be doing better, by the way) and do the dishes. But as soon as she gives me that look and tells me to get off the computer, I get all resentful and mean. I don't spend enough time at home, I guess. I slide back into the person I've been at home for the last couple of years, the person who hates her mother and has no motivation. It's not really my home, I just live here. And I don't even really live here.
This place sucks me into a hole for some reason. All my motivation disappears, I get headaches, I sleep all day, I snap at my parents. Maybe there's just so much bad energy in here from all my family's fights. I mean, we've been here five years now, and in those five years my brother has changed schools four times and tried to kill himself at least three times, my parents have started legal proceedings for divorce three times and considered it at least three additional times, my parents fight all the damn time, my dad has moved out and moved back once, two of our dogs have died and one is sick... God. If only I knew anything about space cleansing.
And the whole house is full of paint fumes.
And I miss Liz. And I was already missing Kaitlyn. At least I'm relatively sure that they're happy, because they're together, even if there's other stuff that's not exactly optimal.
*bangs head on desk* Maybe I'll feel better with some honey.
I should do something to keep myself occupied. Writing the poem was good. I'm still reading my book and I've got more after that. I should re/start my webcomic, write the GV website, translate Loveless, draw erotic art, something.
Aaaaaaagh.
New colors, new layout, new icons. Two of them may qualify for "stalkerish" at this point...but I like them... *pout* Just let me know.
In other news, I finished my applications to Black Hawk and Hawthorn Hollow today, but didn't get to mail them because everyone's working on the house. So we'll see if I have a job this summer. Well, we'll see if I have these jobs this summer, because I can't just lie around the house all summer and I can't just volunteer with the summer reading program either. Should've just done them earlier, but I didn't.
It felt good to write a poem yesterday. Now if only I could write actual songs instead of just lyrics and melodies.
So, Liz graduated today.
I didn't take a shower today, and probably won't get to because they painted the doors upstairs and we can't close them. Hopefully tomorrow.
I'm exhausted. I don't really know why. And the phone keeps ringing and it's giving me a headache.
In other news, I can play Maple Leaf Rag from memory again without screwing up too much.
Meh. I probably have to go and help out around the house now.
Why do I always get angry when my mother asks me to do things? I'm not really doing anything important, she just wants me to play with Shadow a bit (who seems to be doing better, by the way) and do the dishes. But as soon as she gives me that look and tells me to get off the computer, I get all resentful and mean. I don't spend enough time at home, I guess. I slide back into the person I've been at home for the last couple of years, the person who hates her mother and has no motivation. It's not really my home, I just live here. And I don't even really live here.
This place sucks me into a hole for some reason. All my motivation disappears, I get headaches, I sleep all day, I snap at my parents. Maybe there's just so much bad energy in here from all my family's fights. I mean, we've been here five years now, and in those five years my brother has changed schools four times and tried to kill himself at least three times, my parents have started legal proceedings for divorce three times and considered it at least three additional times, my parents fight all the damn time, my dad has moved out and moved back once, two of our dogs have died and one is sick... God. If only I knew anything about space cleansing.
And the whole house is full of paint fumes.
And I miss Liz. And I was already missing Kaitlyn. At least I'm relatively sure that they're happy, because they're together, even if there's other stuff that's not exactly optimal.
*bangs head on desk* Maybe I'll feel better with some honey.
I should do something to keep myself occupied. Writing the poem was good. I'm still reading my book and I've got more after that. I should re/start my webcomic, write the GV website, translate Loveless, draw erotic art, something.
Aaaaaaagh.
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no subject
Date: 2006-05-27 08:00 pm (UTC)You know, you should come visit me in NYC sometime this summer! Also, I might be coming to CT at some point, if you'd be interested in hanging out...
no subject
Date: 2006-05-27 08:44 pm (UTC)