Please give me something else to do.

[dumblemop]

I find the strangest things on the internet.

"Try rolling your tongue into a tube by bringing the sides of your tongue up and together. If you can't do this with your tongue, you can't learn it, it's a genetic trait. Roll your tongue into a tube around the shaft of her clitoris, sliding it up and down, making a tiny vulva of your own for her clitoris to fuck."

And...

"After you've thought about it for a while, this will seem obvious. Just remember that it probably wasn't, until a minute ago...

The way a cough drop, either menthol or mint, works is to stimulate the mucus membranes in your mouth in the special way that feels "cool and tingly". Well, one of the few other places (easily accessible) on the human body that has mucus membranes is the vaginal area. Many people find that, correctly applied, a cough drop feels just spectacular down there. Most people at least find it a very...ah...refreshing change of pace. "

And...

"You may even experience that most startling of sexual phenomena, a female ejaculation. I've seen three of these (actually I got a mouthful), but I can't say whether the fluid comes from the vagina or the urethra. It's quite nice, sort of like salad dressing."

Jesus Christ. I laughed so hard I cried.

And some definitions, just because I find language terribly amusing sometimes:
68: slang for "you do me and I'll owe you one"
ac/dc: Bisexual
KY Jelly: A very popular and effective water-based lubricant used for making sex wetter, sloshier, and more enjoyable
road erection: an unwanted erection that has nothing to do with sexual feelings and everything to do with a penis that has a mind of its own
safeword: the code phrase or word used in any sort of sexual activity that really means "Stop NOW."

Comments

[piper-lee.livejournal.com]

those who swing both ways
ac/dc

like the beck song

[dumblemop.livejournal.com]

What Beck song?

[piper-lee.livejournal.com]

He says that randomly in "Where It's At."

[mr-bastian.livejournal.com]

I was wondering the same thing. o.oa

[dumblemop.livejournal.com]

Safewords themselves aren't amusing. I mean, KY in itself isn't that amusing, it was the use of the word "sloshier" that amused me. There was just something about the phrase "the code phrase or word used in any sort of sexual activity that really means 'Stop NOW'" that struck me.

[sara-the-lazy.livejournal.com]

*grins* and how exactly did you find these things?

Fun stuff. Oh yeah.

Cough drops sound interesting... I know ice cubes are fun.

~Sara

[dumblemop.livejournal.com]

Lol, actually...I googled "fingering" because I was looking for some kind of artistic painting or photo, but my Firefox search box goes automatically to Google web first. So some sex technique column-type website was the first hit, and I started reading it, and it ended up being pretty interesting so I read most of it and pasted the more hilarious items. :P

Haha, yeah, I can't even imagine what that would feel like.

[sara-the-lazy.livejournal.com]

Ah, gocha. Hehe, that's pretty funny... yay for googling.

... cold. XD

~Sara