dumblemop: (leash)
I need sex.

I need sex all the freaking time these days. It must be because I have a hot girlfriend. I can't keep my hands off her ass.

The thing that sucks is, because I had an exceedingly unpleasant procedure performed on my vaginal region this morning, I can't put anything in it for two weeks. And I go back to WI next Friday.

I told Trin I should write "Closed for repairs. Seek alternate route." on my stomach with an arrow pointing down.

So I'm all icky and hurty and violated, and we had sex once already this afternoon--and STILL need it.

I'm supposed to be studying for my comp sci exam tomorrow night and all I can think about is sex.

AAAAHHHH.

Uh-oh

Jul. 15th, 2006 10:40 pm
dumblemop: (corset)
P.S. 10:40: I'd better finish this book tonight. I might not be able to keep my hands to myself if I'm trying to read it at camp. I forgot about the whole MAD CRAZY SEX thing. Jesus. This is the point where I start to pace inside my head because it'll turn me on and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

P.P.S. 11:33pm: Yep. Nine chapters in and I'm clawing at myself and writhing on the couch.
On the one hand, it's a good thing I'm alone, or I'm not so sure what I would do. On the other hand, if I weren't alone, I probably wouldn't be reading the book in the first place. So.

Purity

Jun. 22nd, 2006 12:53 pm
dumblemop: (corset)
supafurryanimals: night<3
supafurryanimals: slut.
supafurryanimals: lol
KeeCollie: god.
KeeCollie: prude.
supafurryanimals: xD!

She got an 84.25, I got a 74.45.

The first time I took it, sophomore year (thanks to [livejournal.com profile] novawolf, [livejournal.com profile] nimue9, [livejournal.com profile] veganstastebest, [livejournal.com profile] mialamu, [livejournal.com profile] kamili, and [livejournal.com profile] epilo) I had a 94.something. On my birthday that year I had a 92.something. Then I went down to somewhere in the 80s. I think the last time I took it, which was possibly earlier this year I was a 79.something.

I remember sitting in on [livejournal.com profile] etherealagent's first time. A 98.25, I think. I was amused.

My score didn't really go down that much even given new developments because I'm still an alcohol, drug, and Rocky virgin, and I haven't had sex in any creative locations, which are sizable portions of the test.

Our internet was out this morning. Mom called Comcast and was like "help!" Then we realized that she'd unplugged the router to plug in her laptop.

Today I will mostly be getting ready for camp but I'll stop by.

P.S. An account of the bits of the weekend I left out of LJ will soon be available upon request to participants, 'cause Chole asked me to write it and Chole's awesome. ;P
dumblemop: (orly)
Speaking of uncensored, I should take The Purity Test again in light of recent events.
dumblemop: (look)
I find the strangest things on the internet.

"Try rolling your tongue into a tube by bringing the sides of your tongue up and together. If you can't do this with your tongue, you can't learn it, it's a genetic trait. Roll your tongue into a tube around the shaft of her clitoris, sliding it up and down, making a tiny vulva of your own for her clitoris to fuck."

And...

"After you've thought about it for a while, this will seem obvious. Just remember that it probably wasn't, until a minute ago...

The way a cough drop, either menthol or mint, works is to stimulate the mucus membranes in your mouth in the special way that feels "cool and tingly". Well, one of the few other places (easily accessible) on the human body that has mucus membranes is the vaginal area. Many people find that, correctly applied, a cough drop feels just spectacular down there. Most people at least find it a very...ah...refreshing change of pace. "

And...

"You may even experience that most startling of sexual phenomena, a female ejaculation. I've seen three of these (actually I got a mouthful), but I can't say whether the fluid comes from the vagina or the urethra. It's quite nice, sort of like salad dressing."

Jesus Christ. I laughed so hard I cried.

And some definitions, just because I find language terribly amusing sometimes:
68: slang for "you do me and I'll owe you one"
ac/dc: Bisexual
KY Jelly: A very popular and effective water-based lubricant used for making sex wetter, sloshier, and more enjoyable
road erection: an unwanted erection that has nothing to do with sexual feelings and everything to do with a penis that has a mind of its own
safeword: the code phrase or word used in any sort of sexual activity that really means "Stop NOW."
dumblemop: (faces)
So some of us went to Uno's last night.

A topic that came up was "favorite sexual positions."

I dissembled and didn't answer because I don't really think about it a lot, so I didn't have a ready response.

I've thought about it.

And I've decided...People, like probably Pipe, who don't really want to know this, should just skip the cut. Seriously. Pipe will probably read it anyway just to spite me. )

And that was my bit of bravery and WAY-T-FUCKING-M-I for the day.
dumblemop: (trap)
So I was blindfolded and whipped in the Freedom office tonight, and we don't get to see Kaitlyn for another almost two weeks.

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